Kei's Birth in Oct 2007, without painkillers, without the gynaecologist being present.

Camera: Indi Soemardjan + Doris Fok (2007)
Music: Meutia Chaerani + Arry Nurdin Daely (1997)



While I was editing the video in Yodhi's mac, I went through a flashback of the labour process. It was just amazing and unbelievable that my body was just possessed by an unknown force. I didn't have any control of what's going on, and had to just surrender to the force. All that I could do is to concentrate and move along with the force, surrendering to the pain. And once it's all over, I trembled, shaken, breathless and tired like I had just gone through a marathon, even though I did not move my body much. All those energy spent to do a marathon are focused on contracting my womb to expel the baby.

You may ask, why such unconventional position to giving birth? Current medical procedure makes us believe that there is only two ways of giving birth: Lying down on labour bed or through cesarean operation. Such position are actually invented quite recently for the convenience of the doctors rather than to make it easy for the mothers themselves. Actually, you don't need to use the same position like you've seen in the movies, where the mother is lying down and the legs are lifted up in stirrups. I heard story from my sister in-law that the mothers of Papuan forest tribe would go into the forest, alone, and give birth in squatting position, just like going into squatting toilet. That makes sense, because I'd say, giving birth is somehow similar to expelling a very big poo or having a bad constipation. Ina May's book also show pictures of people giving birth in standing position, or in all-four position. My friend Bridge gave birth on a birthing stool in a semi-squatting position.

Anyways, I was able to stay in that position because the the doctor hasn't come yet. Side lying position was the most comfortable position for me that was able to slightly reduce the pain. All the nurses asked me to hold until the doctor came, but alas, Kei couldn't wait and decided to just slip through by himself. As I said, I didn't have any control of the whole process, my body just decide to give birth and I was just following my urge. At the end I gave birth without doctor's help.... the doctor only come 10 minutes after birth... but I was still charged doctor's delivery fee!Now that's the painful part! Money doesn't grow on trees, you know!

For original entry, click here

Traveling around the world need not be limited to adults. Children, even the very young ones, don't need to be excluded from the experience.

These families are our inspiration! They share one thing in common: they are families of world travelers

• The Fleming Family: They quit their day job and took the whole family for around the world trip for one year. They homeschool their children on the road
• The Hacking Family: Around the world with their sailboat Ocelot over these past few years with their teenage son and daughter. They homeschool their children on water
• The Ibanez Family: Our friends in Singapore with their two toddlers, departed November last year with their sailboat Constante for a trip around the world that will take at least five years

This list will be added once we come across other silmilar families.And hope that we could follow their footsteps in a few years, and if possible, with a boat!

For the full article, click here

This is just my quick thought on a Pro-Family World, after a discussion with Ari-Thalia and responding to a discussion in ASIforBaby Yahoogroups. As I was quickly jotting down my thoughts on the issue, it was rambling, disorganized, and not well-researched. And perhaps it's also politically incorrect or may be offending to some people, hence I apologize before hand if it is indeed the case. I decide to publish it here so that I won't forget, and hopefully I would be able to write more about this issue.

Begin quoting from ASIforBaby Yahoogroups.

Kalo saya ngeliat masalah FTM (Full Time Mother) vs WM (Working Mother) itu masalah yg lebih gede lagi yaitu masalah norma sosial..

Masalah pertama, pemisahan antara urusan domestik dan urusan publik. Entah kenapa, norma sosial kita cenderung mendomestikasi urusan membesarkan anak (hamil, menyusui, merawat anak). Jadi, urusan2 yang berkaitan dengan itu dibatasi untuk berlangsung di lingkungan dalam rumah aja. Sedangkan urusan pekerjaan, bisnis, mendominasi dunia luar tanpa boleh terjamah oleh urusan membesarkan anak. Thus, wanita yang memilih jalur membesarkan anak sering terjebak norma sosial tersebut.

Padahal, coba dipikir lagi, apa iya anak kecil harus di dalam rumah terus? Waktu dulu, jaman revolusi industri baru mulai, mungkin iya, karena lingkungan kerja memang berbahaya utk anak (polusi, mesin2 berbahaya etc). tapi jaman sekarang, teknologi yang udah maju, dan kebanyakan dari kita di milis ini sebagai white-collar worker environment, yang tidak berbahaya untuk anak. Tetapi mengapa masih ada "stigma" bahwa membesarkan anak adalah urusan tertutup dalam rumah?

Masalah kedua adalah, bahwa kegiatan membesarkan anak tidak membawa keuntungan ekonomi. Wanita yang memilih dari FTM dianggap sebagai "cost" terhadap ekonomi karena dilihat sebagai angkatan kerja yang tidak bekerja (unemployed). Padahal, kalo dipikir, membesarkan anak dengan ASI dan dengan purna waktu bisa jadi membawa keuntungan ekonomi jangka panjang. Sayangnya belum ada riset ilmiah / riset ekonomi mengenai ini.

Jadi, dengan dua masalah ini, wanita dihadapkan dengan pilihan yang lose-lose dalam situasi ini. Jika memilih jadi FTM, ada stigma bahwa FTM tidak bergaul di luar. Jika memilih jadi WM, waktu untuk anak seringkali kurang banyak, apalagi bepergian ke tempat kerja di Jakarta sangat menyita waktu. Tidak ada best-case scenario, bagi si ibu. Semua pilihan membawa efek negatifnya sendiri. Karena itu bisa jadi banyak wanita memilih untuk tidak punya anak.

Lebih jauh lagi untuk kedua orang tua. Jika ibu memilih jadi FTM, bapak harus bekerja duakali lebih keras. Walhasil si bapak memiliki waktu lebih sedikit untuk anak. Interaksi anak dengan ibu dan bapak jadi tidak seimbang. Bahkan ada beberapa bapak yang menganggap pengasuhan anak sebagai penghalang kesibukan. Tapi mau gimana lagi, inilah yang umum terjadi di jaman ini, dan banyak orang harus mengambil pilihan seperti ini.

Karena itu kami (Indrani) di sini berusaha mendobrak stereotipe pengasuhan anak. Caranya sebisa mungkin mengajak anak dengan kegiatan2 yang kita lakukan di luar. Contohnya, saya sebagai FTM mengajak bayi saya (3bln) ke seminar ilmiah, dan orang2 melihat dengan heran karena ternyata anak bisa dibawa ke kegiatan seperti ini. Contoh lain teman saya yang berprofesi sebagai web developer/designer dan ada juga yang sebagai arsitek, sehingga bekerja dari rumah. Mereka mengasuh anak dan mengurus rumah tanpa pembantu atau BS. Mereka membawa anak untuk pertemuan dengan klien, membawa anak ke pameran seni dan pertemuan dengan rekan2 designer. Bahkan mereka membawa anak ke Bar utk dugem di malam hari (karena bar di singapur bebas rokok), sehingga mereka tetap bisa bersosialisasi. Teman saya ini membagi tugas pengasuhan anak antara ibu dan bapak dengan sangat seimbang dan merata. Nah, kata siapa, anak kecil cuma boleh di rumah?

Mari kita coba bayangkan dunia yang berbeda samaa sekali. Boleh dong, berkhayal?

Di dunia yang ini, teknologi komunikasi dan transportasi udah canggih banget sehingga ga ada bedanya berada di rumah atau di kantor. Pilihan untuk jadi FTM atau WM sama2 positif.

Ibu yang memilih untuk menjadi FTM tidak terisolasi, dan dengan network yang canggih ibu2 ini bisa membuat homeschooling dengan ibu2 FTM yang lain, sehingga menekan biaya pendidikan anak. Atau bisa juga membantu mengasuh anak2 dari WM untuk dapet penghasilan tambahan. FTM juga dengan sangat mudah bertukar informasi mengenai pengasuhan anak melalui media blog dan forum website (hehe kalo ini udah terjadi dengan milis ini). Para FTM juga bisa mendapatkan akreditasi dan ijazah mengenai menyusui, pengasuhan dan pendidikan anak dengan assessment kualifikasi mereka oleh organisasi FTM. Selepas anak2 besar, para FTM bisa menyumbangkan ilmu mereka pada organisasi ini untuk ibu2 yang baru melahirkan.

Dunia yang ini, sangat ramah dengan anak kecil dan menyusui. Menyusui dan mengurus anak di tempat umum menjadi hal yang biasa. Baik di taman, di busway, di carrefour, kapan saja dan dimana saja bisa menyusui atau mengganti popok anak. Anak dapat bermain dan berlarian di tempat publik dengan bahaya yang sangat minimum.

Dunia yang ini juga sangat ramah dengan WM. Di dunia ini, tidak ada cuti melahirkan! lho kok malah gak ada? Karena ibu2 ini sejak bayinya berumur sebulan membawa anaknya turut bekerja. Ketika anaknya masih bayi dan banyak tidur, bayi ditaruh di tempat tidur bayi di cubicle dan meja ibu, sehingga kapanpun WM bisa menyusui. Sampai mbak2 teller di bank pun membawa anaknya, sehingga mereka menerima nasabah sambil menggendong bayinya. Guru-guru dan dosen menggendong bayinya sambil mengajar. Konsultan membawa bayinya ke rapat klien, dan klien pun membawa bayinya ke rapat.

Ketika anak sudah bisa jalan, WM bisa menitipkan anaknya di penitipan anak di gedung kantor yang sama, yang dikelola oleh para FTM pro-ASI. Karena jumlah WM dan FTM seimbang, di semua kantor ada TPA. WM mendapatkan bantuan pengasuhan anak oleh pengasuh profesional (FTM), dan FTM mendapat penghasilan tambahan. Setiap empat anak diasuh oleh 1 FTM. Di waktu makan siang, WM menyusui anak di TPA. Saat WM mengantor, FTM memberikan ASI perah. Setiap pulang kantor WM mendapat laporan kegiatan dari FTM.

Ketika anak sudah berusia lebih dari 2 tahun, belum sekolah, dan menyusui hanya sedikit, giliran bapak yang mengurus anak sambil ngantor. Ada banyak pilihan pengasuhan anak balita. Bisa dititipkan di TPA di gedung kantor, dan bapak akan selalu mengajak anaknya makan siang atau minum teh di waktu2 istirahat. Atau bisa juga anak ikut mengantor dengan bapaknya, dan ini bukan hal yang aneh. Karena bapak mengenal anaknya dengan baik, bapak lebih bisa menghandle anaknya dan si anak juga akan berusaha mengerti kebutuhan bapaknya. Walhasil, si anak bisa diajak ke meeting-meeting dan ketemu anak2 kliennya. Hasilnya si anak akan mengerti apa yg dikerjakan orangtuanya selama di kantor, dan si anak merasa tidak terisolasi dengan dunia luar. Kalau anak bosan di kantor bisa turun ke TPA di gedung kantor.

Lebih ekstrim lagi, tempat2 dugem pun menjadi ramah anak2. Bebas rokok, dan tersedia playground / tempat tidur untuk anak. Orangtua yang suka dugem tetap bisa bersosialisasi tanpa harus meninggalkan anak.

Hayo, ibu2 apakah ada khayalan mengenai dunia yang ramah anak? silakan ditambahkan. mudah2an khayalan ini bisa terlaksana.

For full entry, click here

Oh what a day!

We are pleased to announce the birth of our second son.  All natural, all healthy!

date: 25 October 2007
time: 7:50pm (Singapore/HongKong time)
weight: 2.8kg
length: 49cm


We have chosen to name him Keilani Soemardjan (nickname: Kei). Keilani \ke(i)-la-ni\ is pronounced kay-ee-LAH-nee. It is of Hawaiian origin, and its meaning is "glorious chief". Keilana means "glory; calmness".

Kei is getting himself comfortable under infant warmer system in the delivery room of National University Hospital, Singapore.

Kei is enjoying his first bath in the delivery room.

Rani and her doula Doris Fok are having a good time trying get Kei breastfed for the first time. Kei did really well!

Rani started having contractions after midnight at 10 minutes interval. Then from 6am to 5pm they came at 7 minutes interval. At about 6pm she had the "show" (mucous plug came off) and we immediately had her check-in at NUH delivery ward at about 6.30pm. By 7pm she was already 7-8cm dilated which became fully dilated at about 7.30pm. Doris Fok, as Rani's trusted doula, performed an excellent job comforting and massaging Rani. Because of Rani's total surrender mindset and Doris' magic aura, Keilani paved his own way to the world without any push from Rani (and absolutely no drug intervention nor pain killer!). Luckily, nurse Maria Cristina Bernardino was there to assist when Rani said "He's coming out!". Dr. Chong, the "real" doctor, came a little later, saw Kei and said, "Wow, you had a self-service delivery!".

It was such a great evening! Rani made another perfect natural birth. This time she was fully prepared mentally and physically (after reading Ina May's book). Like an athlete finishing the final 1km of marathon effortlessly! Maybe Rani is built to make babies :) Well, the natural approach is really the ONLY way to go.

PS: Rani is in Ward 42 - National University Hospital - until Saturday morning.

For full article, click here

Our dear cousin Evan and her baby passed away 29 September 2007 due to Amniotic Fluid Embolism. This was taken the last time Rani, Noe and I goofed around with Evan in July 2007.

Tiga ibu hamil - Left to right: 6, 7 and 8 months


Tiga ibu hamil - Left to right: 6, 7 and 8 months


Mother and daughter: evan + qinar


The whole big family - Dynasty of Selo Soemardjan in menteng home


We’ll miss Evan!

Love to everyone,IndRaNoe + our jabang bayiwww.indrani.net


Reference on Amniotic Fluid Embolism

• eMedicine
• Wikipedia
• Induction risk and AFE
• AFE Support Group Message Board : For survivor and family members affected

For full entry, click here

Noe has developed his individuality and personality. Just today, he began to say "Mine!" and "It's mine!", if we get something from him without his consent. He would say "no" to a lot of thing, such as morning shower. Just like his grandfather, Dr. Ahmad, who's taking plenty of time before taking his morning shower.

After shower, he would take the time to go to his clothes cabinet, and choose which clothes he wants to wear for the day. If we refuse to put on the clothes of his choice, he would get really angry! Then we would proceed to have breakfast, in which I had to provide two to three choices of food, so that Noe can choose according to his mood. Then Noe would walk to the Video cabinet, and choose which DVD he wants to play for the day, and he would want to insert the DVD by himself into the player. He has a very strong personality that it is almost impossible, if not using a long persuasion, to divert him away from things he wants to do.

His favorite video show (note: we don't have TV but we do have video player) is The Wiggles. This is like, his total favorite. It is no use that we have been screening sesame street since the beginning. The Wiggles is just more interesting (and hypnotic) to him. It began with me looking for children songs video in youtube and we found a lot of Wiggles Video. At the end of the day, Noe was stuck watching low-resolution wiggles in youtube, and we couldn't get things done in the computer. Finally we decided to get him the wiggles DVDs to play at the main TV set, and they have become Noe's favorite ever since. Initially, I found the wiggles to be rather annoying, but slowly, I agree with Noe, their music is nice to sing along with, and really fun to dance too! The music is simple but not childish or pretending. I see the wiggles not as childish adult, but as adult having fun being together with kids! And so, Noe and us always dance and sing along to the Wiggles. His favorite song is Quack Quack.


Photo by Ernest Millan

Noe has also started going to a playgroup nearby our house since March 2007, when he just turned two years old. He goes to Carpe Diem Kidz, in Alexandra. The reason we chose this place is that because the center has a huge front and backyard, which is converted into small farms with chicken, ducks, and rabbits. They also have tree house, and the teachers are quite good and communicative too. And so far, Noe had produced some artwork that he had lovingly presented to us




Noe is now two years and three months. He babbles a lot, and I mean a lot! But so far no meaningful words or sentence has come out from his mouth. His teacher said that Noe is just hesitant to talk. We tried many ways to make him talk, but Noe just wants to talk when he wants to. Actually it's not a problem to us, we always tried to encourage him to talk properly but we never force him to. Interestingly, Noe understand 100% what we're telling him to do or whatever explanation we give him in long sentences. For example, he would put stuff in the correct place, such as recycling bin, when we ask him. Or he would agree to take a morning shower after we give him a long explanation on why it is good to have a morning shower.

For full article, click here

Last year, we began creating family tree in the Wiki-based genealogy site, Rodovid. At that time, we discovered that both Indi and I were descendant of Ken Arok, and we shared the same ancestry up to Bhre Kertabumi (Brawijaya V)

Yesterday I got more information with regards to our ancestry. It turned out that we're descendants of Prophet Muhammad, 41 generations apart. Now that does not mean that we're pious or good religious people. But it shed a light that possibly many Javanese people are descendant of Prophet Muhammad.

How did it happen? First, let me just share with you my methodology in mapping our family history. It's actually pretty simple, based on available data, I plotted them into Rodovid Website

• First, I plotted my ancestry up to Sultan Agung, 11 generations before me. The data is credible, because it is a certified family tree published by the Jogjakarta Sultanate. Solo Sultanate also have similar family tree. We can make the database richer if you can plot your family tree if you have on, or whatever genealogy information you have.
• Secondly, I found Babad Jawa Versi Mangkunegaran online, which traced the lineage of Javanese Kings, Queens, and Princes, up to Ken Arok and Tunggul Ametung. This resulted in a family tree that I put here almost one year ago
• Thirdly, last year, I googled genealogy information of Wali Sanga and particularly Sunan Ampel. This gives additional information on the Javanese family tree during Raden Patah era, in which intermarriage with the Muslims started to happen. Last year I could only traced the lineage up to Maulana Malik Ibrahim
• In the mean time, Indi's genealogy information is added based on information available in the book Komat Kamit Selo Soemardjan, that mentioned his ancestry up to Sultan Demak. This information was also plotted
• This year, I just saw an update in the Wikipedia page of Sunan Ampel. New information of Sunan Ampel's lineage is added, with ancestry information up to Husayn, the son of Ali bin Abi Thalib and Fatimah Az-Zahra. So I plotted this information.
• It turned out that somebody else had already plotted genealogy information of Prophet Muhammad, so what I do is just link my plotted family tree into this family tree. This resulted into a colossal family tree that spans 59 generations, from third century BC up to today.

Family tree spanning more than 1000 years and around the world!



You can see Prophet Muhammad's Family Tree or Rani's family tree or Indi's family tree. Or you can download the original JPG here (careful, filesize is 2MB!), to avoid clogging Rodovid's server. The result and conclusions of this family tree are amazing:

• Indi's family tree and I started to diverge from Bhre Kertabumi. Indi is descendant of Raden Patah and Demak Sultanate, while I am descendant of Raden Bondan Kejawen, which are both sons of Bhre Kertabumi
• Both the sons of Bhre Kertabumi married the female descendant of Maulana Malik Ibrahim. Maulana Malik Ibrahim is 11th descendant of Prophet Muhammad through Ali Bin Abi Talib and Fatimah Az-Zahra. The descendant of Ali and Fatimah swarmed over generations from Baghdad-Iraq, to Hadramaut-Yemen, to Nasrabad-India, to Samarkand-Uzbekistan, before finally reach the land of Java
• In conclusion, we can see that possible many Javanese people are sharing the same ancestry, namely, Bhre Kertabumi and Maulana Malik Ibrahim. As long as you can trace your ancestry up to Sultan Agung, it is likely that you can hook up your family tree with Ken Arok and Prophet Muhammad
• Interestingly, Prophet Muhammad's family tree in Rodovid showed a linkage to a Portuguese family currently living in Portugal and Brazil, which you can see at the lower right corner of the family tree. These Portuguese family are descendant of Muhammad and Khadijah through his daughter Umm Kuttum. Somehow their descendant settled in Portugal, and the last Arabic / Islamic name that I could find in their family tree is Aboazar, 15 generations after Muhammad. After which I could no longer find Arabic/Islamic name in their family tree. This Portuguese family tree is really comprehensive and seemed to be accurate. It's amazing that I could see my blood relationship with people halfway around the world in Brasil!
• I would confidently say that this collosal family tree is quite accurate, because there is not much difference of generation between the Javanese family lineage and the Portuguese family lineage (the difference is only three generations, approximately 75 years discrepancy over 40 generations)
• The only problematic generational discrepancy is Indi's family tree and mine beginning from the grandchild of Raden Patah. There is seven generations gap, that means approximately 175 years discrepancy over 16 generations. I conclude that Selo Soemardjan's family tree description in his book is inaccurate (saying that there is only nine generation gap from Sultan Demak). To rectify this discrepancy, we could rely on the fact mentioned in the same book, that KRT Tummengung worked as an aide for Sultan Hamengkubuwono IV. By putting KRT Tumenggung along the same line with Sultan HB IV, Indi's family tree became inline with my family tree, but leaving seven generation gap between Sultan Demak and KRT Tumenggung. Too bad, I could not find other written information to cross check Pak Selo Soemardjan's statement in his book

So, what are you waiting for? You can help putting your genealogy information into Rodovid and we can have very rich information of our family relationship!

Don't worry if you make mistakes, the fact that Rodovid is a Wiki means that any information you put in can be easily corrected or reverted.

For full entry, read the original posting at www.indrani.net

We just discovered Rodovid, a wiki-based family tree, and I spent a whole day putting our family tree and connect it with Babad Tanah Jawi family tree. As a result, I managed to find my ancestors, 33 generations before me, up to Ken Dedes (the wife of Ken Arok, the first ruler of Singhasari, Indonesia) and her father. This is my family tree: