For full version, click here

As a staunch proponent of breastfeeding, I should be happy when the Makassar Province in Indonesia decided to draft a breastfeeding bill, right?  

WRONG! I was ambiguous about it, because from the title of the legislation, it sounds that the bill is aimed towards mothers instead of the public facilities and health workers. The title of the legislation itself sounds vague: "Peraturan Daerah Air Susu Ibu". At a first glance, the title seems to "encourage" (force) mothers to breastfeed their babies... but does it imply that mothers are to be punished for not breastfeeding? It's unclear, but many interprets the law that it puts mothers in a disadvantaged position.

Vague Title, Absent Content

I tried to google about it but couldn't find anything with enough information of the bill. The Kompas article about the bill is unclear: it writes about legislating Early Latch-On and restrict distribution of infant formula. If it's the case, why not make the title of the bill clearer, such as, "Protection of Breastfeeding Rights Bill" or "Regulations of Infant Formula Distribution", since all the debate on this bill revolves around the interpretation and assumptions of the bill content based on the title. Maybe the provincial government is too scared to intimidate the big pharmaceuticals and infant formula company, and hence they put the title without any mention of "infant formula".  If the bill and its deliberation are put in the internet in a transparent manner, people can focus on discussing the content instead of beating around the bush. And the title of the bill should reflect the content clearly.

Say No to Punishing Mothers

If indeed the legislation mandates breastfeeding obligation onto the mothers' shoulder only, and punishing mothers for not breastfeeding, then it is a big shame. There are two main reasons:

1. Such law would not help to increase breastfeeding rate in Indonesia because breastfeeding is not solely based on the mothers decision and ability. It is largely a result of various factors in the environment, starting from the marriage and family level, personal level such as psychological health of both mother and baby and availability of lactation consultant, to a more macro level such as public health education, stigmatization of breast display in public, domestication of women. So far, those others factors have not been addressed. In short, inability to breastfeed is not the mother's fault. It's the environment's fault.

2. Based on the aforementioned diverse factors, conditions of mothers are not uniform, and i think law shouldn't be applied in a situation with a multiple layer of problems. The legislation should work outside-in, addressing macro level issues first with the aim and hope it will reach into the micro level. If there ever need for punishment, it should be aimed at the surrounding factors that affect mothers ability to breastfeed, but not to punish the mothers themselves.

In short, stop criminalizing women and mothers! Instead, support us!

Protect Mothers, Create Conducive Environment for Breastfeeding

I argue that breastfeeding rate will never increase unless the following problems are tackled first, working from macro level:

1.  Public health education on breastfeeding should stop in only giving out empty rhetorics such as "Breast is best" and "benefits of breastfeeding". There should be more emphasis on public education on the "How" factor: How to breastfeed, how to maintain milk supply, how to find support.

2.  Legislation should be there to protect mothers' right, and NOT to punish mother for not breastfeeding. Give incentives to public places to provide breastfeeding facilities. Punish offices who prevents mothers to pump during working hours or not giving facilities for breastfeeding / pumping. Ensure that mothers right to breastfeeding ANYWHERE (including in Metro Mini) is protected and people who forbid mothers to do so should be punished. Protect breastfeeding mothers from the legal recourse of law pornographic law. Protect the rights of mothers who are working: from domestic helper, blue collar workers, to office workers.

3. Increase availability of Lactation Consultants, a new professional health field that is on the rise in developed countries. Imagine, Indonesia with 200 million population only has 10 certified LCs and mostly are located in Jakarta, while Singapore with 4 million people has 40 LCs and even that, Singapore things they don't have enough LCs! Include Lactation science in medical school, give scholarship to doctors and nurses for lactation consultant training, send them to the rural area.

4. Again, mothers should not be blamed for their inability to breastfeed. The blame should fall to the health workers for their conspiracy with infant formula company to give disinformation to new mothers, or to the health department for not providing enough LCs, the blame should fall to the media for publishing advertisement idealising infant formula, the blame should fall to greedy and stingy employer - and there's no law available to defend the mother's rights while working, the blame should fall to the male-oriented public rules that prevents mothers and baby to roam around freely in public space and breastfeed.

Other Blog Posts on This Issue

• Nana
• Masarcon
• Anang
• Rahadian

For original article, click here

Gosh, such a bad mommy I am, I haven't written anything on Kei ever since he was born! True enough, parents dedicate a lot of resources to keep the memory of the first kid, but the resources are dwindling for the second kid and beyond. As I am the fourth kid, I really understand this, because I couldn't find any pictures or mementos related to my infancy and childhood. Sorry I digress. But with the hectic schedule of taking care two kids, I just realized that Kei didn't have as many mementos as Noe had. C'mon, I gotta be fair to both of my kids. So, now I write something about Kei's progress during the past four months.

So far, the only thing that I have written is how breastfeeding Kei has been smooth sailing. Now I will try to add more news.


At five days old, Kei has given his grandmothers the pissed-off finger. Bad bad!

At one month Kei began to have a meaningful eye contact and follow objects through his eye movements. But i haven't got his voluntary smile yet.


Also at one month he was able to lift his neck when he's put belly down.



I got his first smile at around five-six week.



At around seven weeks Kei was circumcised (i'm sure we're gonna face a lot of lambasting from other agnostics / atheists, but we decided to do this anyway..).



After his wound healed, at around eight-nine week, we began with cloth diapering. This is the right age because his bowel movement had become more regular and his pee was getting less frequent. I got fresh new stash from bumwear and bumgenius websites. Kei has been loving his cloth diapers and he looked really cute in them.



At three months, end January, Kei was able to clasp both his hand together at the centre of his body. He also began to be able to grasp things.

A few days later, he was able to lean himself sideways 45 degree. Striving to defy gravity. We began to be more carefree with Kei's neck, which has become stronger. At three and a half months, Kei began to grab things that are lying around him.

At four months, Kei began to play with his saliva, making BRRR sounds. Indonesians believe that this is the time when mother begins to shed hair. True enough, a few days later, I began to shed my hair. This will last for many months, NOT liking it at all.


At four and a half months, early March, Kei began to roll more steeply, but not quite rolling over yet. One week later, Kei totally rolls over, and he really loved rolling over and back.

He also began to be able to pull himself to sitting position, and surprisingly, to STANDING position, when I hold his hands. It's not that we pull him into sitting / standing position, Kei insisted that he pull himself to that positions, albeit wobbly.

And just like his brother, Kei also flew in an airplane for the first time at four months from Singapore to Jakarta and back. Timely enough to be shown to relatives in Jakarta. Initially, I was supposed to fly to Jakarta with Kei and Noe on tow. I'm not a super mom, unlike Jeng Hany who's able to take care two toddlers at the same time, so I begged to Indi to split the baby caring job, because I didn't know how Kei would react on the airplane. Finally Indi babysat Noe while Kei and me went to Jakarta for family event. Luckily Kei behaved really well in the airplane, no crying no fussiness, despite a very uncomfortable Lion Air (but cheap) flight. I became more confident that next time I should be able to get two kids on tow by myself. Amen.




Breastfeeding on the flight help soothes painful ears during descent

Overall Kei shared similar milestones as his brother. One thing different, Kei has fell sick with common cold TWICE, while Noe only fell sick after he was one year old. Well, with two kids, germs coming from the older brother's school got into Kei's immune system. And consequently, mummy also fell sick more often when one kids fell sick and hence began a circle of disease jumping from one person to another. When one kid fell sick, the disease could stay in the house for more than week thereafter, because other member of the family would get the disease. Luckily with breastfeeding the kids get well quickly. Hopefully Kei would be stronger and more resilient when he begins playgroup in a few years.

Artikel asli ada di sini

Survey asal-asalan kemaren sudah mengundang sekitar 40 responden. Tanpa metode macem-macem, angka yang kita terima kita rata-ratakan per kategori. Hasilnya adalah sebagai berikut.

Total rata-rata dari seluruh kategori adalah: Rp 13,156,920. Dengan catatan angka ini tidak termasuk: Cicilan rumah, uang sekolah, senang-senang, kegiatan lainnya, dan asuransi. Murni untuk biaya hidup sebulan untuk keluarga dengan dua anak. Seberapa benar angka ini, kita juga ga tau. Beberapa orang yang tidak menjawab dengan detail memberi kisaran 10-15 juta perkeluarga per bulan. Wah, mahal juga ya, untuk kami, ini artinya sepantar dengan biaya hidup di Singapura, dengan kualitas hidup berkali-kali di bawah Singapura. Kami harus siap siap mengencangkan ikat pinggang.

Berikut angkanya secara detil:

A. Biaya hidup pokok

1. Berapa rata2 belanja makanan dan kebutuhan pokok sebulan dengan asumsi belanja di pasar becek dan supermarket? Rp 2,303,061
2. Berapa rata2 tagihan listrik per bulan? Rp 620,690
3. Berapa rata2 tagihan air bersih per bulan? Rp 320,588
4. Berapa rata2 tagihan air minum per bulan? Rp 133,125
5. Berapa rata2 biaya gas masak per bulan? Rp 103,750
6. Berapa rata2 tagihan telepon per bulan (Bukan seluler)? Rp 300,000
7. Berapa rata2 tagihan internet broadband 24 jam per bulan? Rp 502,679
8. Berapa rata2 tagihan telepon seluler dengan penggunaan fasilitas 3.5G per bulan (ada internetnya juga)? Rp 550,000
9. Kalau memutuskan untuk rantangan makanan (2 sayur 1 daging), berapa rata2nya per bulan? Rp 868,750

B. Biaya transportAsumsi: Mobil kijang atau avanza dengan kegiatan mengantar ke kantor, belanja, dsb, plus tiap akhir pekan pergi ke luar kota mencari udara segar dan kegiatan outdoor. Mohon kalau bisa ada dua jawaban: 1. Apabila tinggal di pinggir kota (bintaro, cibubur, tangerang atau depok) dan 2. Apabila tinggal di tengah kota (menteng, rasuna, manggarai, etc)

1. Berapa rata2 penggunaan BBM untuk 1 mobil per bulan? Rp 907,143
2. Berapa rata2 biaya perawatan / maintenance 1 mobil per bulan? Rp 581,212 (kebayakan responden menjawabnya gak jelas, jadi kami asumsi angka yang diberikan adalah bulanan)
3. Berapa rata2 biaya tol 1 mobil per bulan? Rp 445,000
4. Berapa rata2 biaya parkir 1 mobil per bulan? Rp 458,571
5. Jika memakai busway setiap hari (plus ojek, bajaj), berapa rata2 biayanya per bulan? Rp 800,000
6. Jika memakai taxi setiap hari (plus ojek, bajaj), berapa rata2 biayanya per bulan? Rp 2,725,000

C. Biaya optional

1. Berapa rata2 mempekerjakan pembantu yang tidak tinggal di rumah (Bekerja 8-10 jam per hari setiap hari kerja)? Rp 440,476
2. Berapa rata2 mempekerjakan supir yang tidak tinggal di rumah (Bekerja 8-10 jam per hari setiap hari kerja)? Rp 1,096,875

Silakan dikomentari...

For full entry, click here

Sorry Mr. Ong, for responding so-very-late to your 123 meme, Indrani have been occupied with things, sick kids, and flying back and forth Singapore-Jakarta. With easter holiday in the horizon, we just found the time to write again.

Indi hasn't been reading books lately, too busy with work, so that leaves me responding to the meme. The meme rules are:

• look up page 123 in the book that is nearest to you at this very minute
• look for the fifth sentence
• then post the three sentences that follow that fifth sentence on page 123.

Here goes:

"The increasing pull of children was weighed against women's solid sense of identification with their careers and the heavy investment they had made in them. Women took pride in their professional accomplishment and tremendous pleasure from their work. Wendy Friedman voiced the difficulty many women felt in making the decision and reflected on the variety of losses it entailed"

The book titled "Opting Out: Why women really quit careers and head home" by Pamela Stone (2007).



Why that book? In recent years I have been trying to find the answer for the notion of why people who chose to go down the path of child-rearing tend to be perceived as isolated, particularly, isolated from the business and working world. We have been trying to break that notion, trying to balance child-rearing / work and involving our kids into things that we do everyday. I know some of my friends also tries to break away from the conventional norm of child-rearing / work separation, such as Ari Thalia Aina family.  We know it is not easy. We concluded that the isolation emerges from the fact that most people take the child-rearing / work separation for granted, but also, because the modern working world run with rules that excludes child rearing. In this sense, people like Ari Thalia or me are economic externalities ( Why the Most Important Job in the World is Still the Least Valued).



The women in the book were high achievers from ivy league universities, high flyer in their career, feminists, believers of equal parenting. Yet they decided to forgo their career to become a full time housewives. Why?

The book outlines that there is mainly two driving forces. First, is the rise of "intensive parenting". In the past, parents are more concerned about whether or not their babies survive into later childhood. With advances in medical and nutritional technology (in line with Maslow's hierarchy), the focus of parenting shifts into providing quality care and education, this means parents are the best caregiver and as much as possible should spend time with children. On the other hand, the pressure to excel within the corporate structure has forces people to bank 50-80 hours work per week.  To add to the problem, for women, the prime age to climb the corporate ladder coincides with the prime age for child rearing.

However, the book shows that it is not so much the first factor, that is the child-rearing factor, that pulls the mothers to quit from the job, but instead, it is the corporate world that is unwilling to accept compromises from parents with young children. The companies would freak out with the mothers proposal to work part time (at least for a few years), to work from home, to take emergency leave, and inability to work over time. For the corporations, it is all-or-nothing scenario, there is no in-between. Facing a win-lose option, mothers gave up.

On a side note, my mom-in-law struck me with one sentence that makes me think twice about going back to work full time again. She said, "Kids grow up really fast. In a blink, my sons became teenagers and then they've gone out of the house. You only have FIFTEEN (or at the most, seventeen) years to spend with your kids before they live on their own". Fifteen years, that is, only one fifth of my whole life. And I don't want to miss that. Sure enough, last week Noe had just turned 3 years old. How time flies.

But then again, people said, you need double income in order to survive in this harsh world.

I wish the world become a more friendly place to people who choose the path of predominantly child rearing.  Like this
Noe (6 months) sleeps during a seminar on development economics

I'm not gonna tag anybody else.. if you feel like continuing this meme, go ahead and link back to this entry.. 

For original entry, click here

I am trying to remember what is the earliest event in my life that I remember. Sure enough, I don't really remember myself being a baby in a diaper. But there are some remnants of memory in my brain that, I'm sure, happened before I was five years old. Some events even happened before I was three year old because I could remember them, even graphically, mainly because of a significant time marker in those events. Those events are as follows:

I remember my maternal grandfather passed away. This happened when I was about 2-3 year old and my sister was just a few months old. This might be the earliest memory that I could remember graphically in my brain. I remember approaching my grandpa's body in the living room of his house and my aunt told me that grandpa was just sleeping and that he was going to some faraway place to be "repaired". From then on, I believed that my grandpa will return to our family after the reparation is complete. A few years later, when I was in kindergarten or primary school, my grandpa's younger brother came to my house for a visit. He really looked like my own grandpa, so I told him, "Hey, you're back! Grandpa has been repaired!". Of course everybody laughed at me, but I swear I was being damn serious about my statement at that time. From then on, my grandpa's brother always addressed himself as the "repaired grandpa".

I remember my old house in Bandung, in Jalan Wastukencana no. 4. Our family moved out of this house when I was about three or four year old, and if I could remember something from my old house, that must be before I was four. I could remember three events there:

• I remember standing up on family dining table during dinner, and my older brothers and sisters was about to scold me when my dad told them not to, because I didn't understand what I was doing. I also remember trying out chili sauce for the first time in my life and cried because of it.
• I remember playing with an Ambonese lady, Tante Inne, who rented a room in that old house. I remember watching TVRI with her, and the song Potong Bebek Angsa was playing on TV with static slideshow of ducks illustration. Then my mom popped into the TV room to pick me up for dinner.
• I remember taking a stroll around the city hall. My old house was just across Bandung city hall. After the stroll, we went to a house of an Indonesian chinese old couple, who happened to sell candy and sweets. The grandfather gave me free candy and I beamed.

I also remember moving out from my old house to a new house in Jalan Riau. I remember playing on the stack of kapuk mattresses that are waiting to be put into the individual room with my sister. We rolled the mattress to make a pipe-like tunnel and ran into it.

Those are the five significant events from before I was four year old, that are still etched into my memory vividly.

What is your earliest memory?

For original entry, click here

I've been tracking my time for the past few months. I'm able to do this perhaps because I'm just a housewife with plenty of spare time(Yeah right, the truth is, being a mom is a 24hr job!). Let me share with you about it.

In the beginning...

In the past I have been thinking about how to track my time, mainly to find clock in hours I spent doing different projects. However, no tools have struck me to be particularly useful. Some tools are too confined within one PC (i.e. time tracker in Google Desktop Sidebar), and some tools are too disconnected that they can't be synchronized with the PC (i.e. some pocket pc tracker program, or even manual notebook with pen). Or, I had to pay hefty price to buy time tracker software. In short, I needed a time tracker that can be accessed anytime anywhere and can aggregate the data into a report.

Using Twitter and Google Spreadsheet

Come Twitter and Google to the rescue. During the past months I have been using twitter to track my time together with Google Spreadsheet. Why twitter? Because I am able to access it from many different platforms, namely PC/Laptop, pocket PC / cellphone web browsers (with twitter mobile version), instant messenger, and SMS. I found that the cheapest way to input data offline is via pocket PC web browser connecting through GPRS/HSDPA/wifi into twitter mobile webpage. The webpage is only 3Kb long which means one pageview equals to 1 cent SGD. Of course the cheapest way is to input data through stationary PC, which is free.

Then I use Google Spreadsheet to aggregate the data into report. The problem with twitter is that I had to manually input the time tracking data into a Google spreadsheet in order to summarize it into a more sensible report. This is because I can't find any way for Google spreadsheet to import data from twitter. Although it only take me 30 minutes per week to input the data manually, I dreaded to do that because it's so boring.

Using Google Spreadsheet with Form Input

Anyway I just realized (too late) that Google Docs has launched new features on the spreadsheet since early February 2008. Now the spreadsheet can directly receive data via an online form webpage. This is cool because then I do not need to manually input twitter data into the spreadsheet. Moreover, the online form webpage is very simple, enabling me to open the form webpage in my pda quickly despite only using GPRS connection. The webpage is only 1.8Kb long, which means one pageview equals to 0.5 cents SGD, and I didn't have to spend time doing additional data entry. Basically, this enables me to create time tracking report on the fly.

Creating Time Tracker: Step-by-Step

First I created a new spreadsheet, with the first sheet to keep time-tracking data. I rename this first sheet as "time detail". Make sure that you have plenty of rows, say, 1000 rows, if you use the spreadsheet to track 24 hours of your life in great details. If you only use it to track only a few tasks, you might not need 1000 rows.But ensure you have enough rows, because that's what is written in the Google help instruction.


The form editing view


The form webpage view in browser

Then I created the online form according to the instructions. I made three input points, namely "Task", "Tag", and "Achievements/Notes", which will be depicted as three different columns in the spreadsheet. The "Task" column is to record the task name. "Tag" column is to assign three letter category into the corresponding task, and you can put as many category as you want. I have many categories, ranging from breastfeeding time to travel time, blogwalking, and categories dedicated for each separate projects. "Achievements/Notes" is to put down any additional notes on the task.


The grey rows are the ones input through the form, while the white ones are input directly on the spreadsheet

By using the form entry, Google also automatically creates new column within the sheet for timestamp, which marks the exact time when the particular entry is added into the spreadsheet from the webpage form.This timestamp marks the beginning of a particular task.

Then, in the column next to the ones used for form data entry, I added one column to calculate the duration of a particular task, using the formula =MOD(A4-A3,1) for row no.3, repeating this formula according to the next row numbers.

On top of the duration column I added a "total hours" data using a simple =SUM(E3:E1000)*24 formula, which will be used in the summary report later on.

Second, go to the second sheet and rename it as "summary". Then assign the columns to aggregate data according to the "Tag" by listing all the "Tag" that you have made.I made two columns for this, "Tag details" and the "Tag" itself.


The data, summarized according to the "Tag" or categories

Aggregating data is done by simply adding all the durations in the first sheet, depending on the assigned "Tag". This is done in the column next to the "Tag", using the formula =SUMIF('time detail'!C3:C1000,"Tag",'time detail'!E3:E1000)*24  (This formula will give the numbers of hours in decimal form, meaning the numbers behind the decimal point is the fraction of an hour. For example, 1.5 means one hour and a half, which is 1 hour and 30 minutes).

To make the number more sensible, I added two more columns "Percent" and "Daily Average". "Percent" shows how many percent of my time used for a specific task, and to make that number more tangible to me, "Daily Average" shows how many hours and minutes I spend each day for a specific task.

In summary, Google Spreadsheet with form webpage input enabled me to track my time both on and off my PC, even on the road (using my cellphone web browser), while generating summary report on the fly. Using flexible "Tag", this spreadsheet can be adapted both for extensive time tracking use or to only track a few projects.

Do you want me to create a Google Spreadsheet template to be shared publicly? Or do you have any advice to make the process easier? Let me know by writing your comments below.

Update:
The template spreadsheet is here, you can copy it into your own google account.

I am pissed off by whoever did the paving along Labrador Park using limestone (or whatever material) that becomes slippery when wet. It was raining so I slipped and sprained my ankle this afternoon. I landed from my fall the wrong way because I was trying to protect my baby who is sitting in my baby bjorn carrier.  And now I can only walk with turtle pace, and my ankle hurts, it is a bit swollen too. ARRGH!

For original article, click here



Berhubung ada kemungkinan kepindahan kami ke Jakarta, kami perlu mempersiapkan diri untuk tahu kondisi hidup di Jakarta. Saat ini gak kebayang berapa sih biaya hidup di Jakarta. Dari beberapa kali pulang kampung semenjak tinggal di Singapura, kok Jakarta rasanya mahal cukup mahal? Perasaan ini timbul dari sekilas membandingkan harga-harga makanan di toserba seperti Hero atau Carrefour Jakarta dengan harga-harga makanan di toserba menengah di Singapura (NTUC atau Shengsiong). Ini baru bahan makanan, kami belum tahu harga-harga kayak listrik, air, transportasi, dan komunikasi. Kami ingin tahu kira-kira berapa banyak sih kami bisa menabung. Sejauh ini, sewaktu kami bertanya kepada teman-teman di Yahoo Messenger, jawabannya sangat bervariasi. Jadi tambah bingung deh.

Karena itu kami mohon (mohon bangetttt plisss) bantuan pembaca sekalian untuk memberi input dengan mengisi komen di bawah atau kirim email ke indrani.soemardjan di gmail. Silakan copy paste poin-poin di bawah ini untuk mengisi jawabannya.

Asumsi dasar: Keluarga dengan dua anak kecil, tidak termasuk biaya / cicilan rumah dan cicilan mobil.

A. Biaya hidup pokok

Biaya hidup pokok ini tidak termasuk biaya senang-senang seperti makan di restoran, nonton bioskop atau biaya non-pokok seperti preschool anak, les bahasa sunda/spanyol, dsb.

1. Berapa rata2 belanja makanan dan kebutuhan pokok sebulan dengan asumsi belanja di pasar becek dan supermarket?
2. Berapa rata2 tagihan listrik per bulan?
3. Berapa rata2 tagihan air bersih per bulan?
4. Berapa rata2 tagihan air minum per bulan?
5. Berapa rata2 biaya gas masak per bulan?
6. Berapa rata2 tagihan telepon per bulan (Bukan seluler)?
7. Berapa rata2 tagihan internet broadband 24 jam per bulan (Huaduh, bagi kami sekeluarga, internet broadband sudah jadi kebutuhan pokok)?
8. Berapa rata2 tagihan telepon seluler dengan penggunaan fasilitas 3.5G per bulan (ada internetnya juga)?
9. Kalau memutuskan untuk rantangan makanan (2 sayur 1 daging), berapa rata2nya per bulan?

B. Biaya transport

Asumsi: Mobil kijang atau avanza dengan kegiatan mengantar ke kantor, belanja, dsb, plus tiap akhir pekan pergi ke luar kota mencari udara segar dan kegiatan outdoor. Mohon kalau bisa ada dua jawaban: 1. Apabila tinggal di pinggir kota (bintaro, cibubur, tangerang atau depok) dan 2. Apabila tinggal di tengah kota (menteng, rasuna, manggarai, etc)

1. Berapa rata2 penggunaan BBM untuk 1 mobil per bulan?
2. Berapa rata2 biaya perawatan / maintenance 1 mobil per bulan?
3. Berapa rata2 biaya tol 1 mobil per bulan?
4. Berapa rata2 biaya parkir 1 mobil per bulan?
5. Jika memakai busway setiap hari (plus ojek, bajaj), berapa rata2 biayanya per bulan?
6. Jika memakai taxi setiap hari (plus ojek, bajaj), berapa rata2 biayanya per bulan?

C. Biaya optional

Kami belum memutuskan apakah akan mempekerjakan staff rumah tangga. Selama merantau ini kami berhasil hidup tanpa bantuan, entah bagaimana nanti di Indonesia... tetapi kalaupun ada bantuan, sepertinya sih kami tidak ingin staff tersebut tinggal di rumah.. entah lah, belum diputuskan.

1. Berapa rata2 mempekerjakan pembantu yang tidak tinggal di rumah (Bekerja 8-10 jam per hari setiap hari kerja)?
2. Berapa rata2 mempekerjakan supir yang tidak tinggal di rumah (Bekerja 8-10 jam per hari setiap hari kerja)?

Terima kasih (atau terimakasih?) sebelumnya!

Oya apakah total / rata2 jawaban yang masuk perlu ditayangkan di blog ini?

For original entry, click here

Traveling around the world need not be limited to adults. Children, even the very young ones, don't need to be excluded from the experience.

These families are our inspiration! They share one thing in common: they are families of world travelers

• The Fleming Family: They quit their day job and took the whole family for around the world trip for one year. They homeschool their children on the road
• The Hacking Family: Around the world with their sailboat Ocelot over these past few years with their teenage son and daughter. They homeschool their children on water
• The Ibanez Family: Our friends in Singapore with their two toddlers, departed November last year with their sailboat Constante for a trip around the world that will take at least five years

This list will be added once we come across other silmilar families.And hope that we could follow their footsteps in a few years, and if possible, with a boat!

For full article, click here

Many people considered that our last one-month trip to Mexico and Cuba has been a hard-core one. Meaning that people think that it is such an impossible journey, that many people would think many many times before actually committing into it. But I suppose traveling is so much our passion that we're willing to take risks and plan such trip. If money is not an issue, we'd like to travel all over the world!

And why are we bringing our little one? Many (Indonesian) parents would think that toddler wouldn't be strong enough to endure such travel. But we want to experience the world as a family, and we're confident that we would be sensible enough to travel with considerations of our toddler's needs and wants. We hope that Noe would be bitten by the same travel bugs that bite us.


Indi+Noe against Carribean sunset in Havana, Cuba

So, some people have asked us, how do you manage to do such a major travel with a toddler. Our answer would be one word: planning.

Well, planning our trip is a separate article altogether. We've also been sharing our travel plan spreadsheet with several people, and they agree that it is so detailed that it looks like a "persiapan perang" battle plan, as you can see in our previous entry.

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The Basics for Traveling with Toddler

The first and foremost requirement to travel with toddler is simple, you have to know your toddler very very well, knowing his ability and limitations, so that you could incorporate your toddler's habits and life-cycle into the travel plan. How? Spend time with your child as much as possible, build trust between you and your child, and finally, test your child's limit by allowing him to be independent and learn from his own mistake.

Secondly, plan your trip in great detail including incorporating the toddler lifestyle into it. This includes timetable, detailed itinerary, and logistics. Having planned our trip in great details, we know that there are some limitations imposed by bringing our toddler. For example, we won't be able to go out to the night scenes. If we truly want to go to night scene, one of us would need to stay with the toddler to babysit as a compromise, for example, Indi would go to a dance club in Cuba while I watch over Noe. Also, we know that we have to constantly allocate time to buy snacks and tidbits for Noe. We would also simulate travel time by calculating distances in Google earth, so that we could allocate traveling time by car and allow rest stops so that Noe doesn't get bored in the car. In terms of logistics, we need to know what would be available or not in the destination. For example, we knew that antibiotics is difficult to get in Cuba, so we had to take our supply of children antibiotics, just in case.

Thirdly, take precautions to reduce risks. Travel insurance is a must, and we spend time comparing different schemes in order to get the cheapest but best option. Also, we talk about our plan to our pediatrician. She would then suggest us to take necessary vaccinations and prepare prescription medicine as our first aid kits. She would also brief us on first-aid basics and how to use the medicine. Lastly, we had planned to take first-aid course but didn't do it. We were lucky that we didn't have to do any first-aid measures during our trip.

Fourthly, during the trip itself, be flexible with the plan, constantly watching your toddler. During our trip to Cuba, we had to cancel our plan to go to the provinces because Noe had Roseola Infantum viral fever.


Traveling with toddler means traveling light, because you need to be prepared to carry the toddler anytime

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Some Tips for Traveling with Toddler

The following are travel tips that had greatly helped to ease our trip:

• Travel light and don't overpack. You need to be able to carry stuff AND chase/carry your toddler when needed.
• Ziplock bags, the sturdy type (freezer type), are useful for many things! Mainly they're used to organize items in the backpack. Quart size to bring leftover food and on-the-road snacks, to pack medicine and toiletries. Gallon size is used to compress clothings for easy packing (Tip: Sit on the filled ziplock and zip them! This makes it into a pseudo-vacuum bag. Use this cheap option rather than getting the expensive special vacuum plastic bags). But don't throw them away hastily. Reuse them as much as possible, and recycle when disposing them.
• Breastfeeding! For me this makes traveling with toddler really easy. No bottle feeding kit to lug around. It also helped Noe to recover from his viral infection faster.
• Wash your clothes during trip. This is how we get by with only bringing a few clothes.
• Make it into a habit to sleep with lights off at night. This has been our habit before our kids were born. And this has helped the kid's transition with the timezone better. There has been very little jetlag despite traveling halfway around the globe.
• Make the most of the surroundings to entertain the toddler without toys. We're also glad that Noe doesn't need much toys. We can amuse him (and he can amuse himself) with things that are available on the spot. For example, Noe would have real fun looking at airplane pictures in the seat pocket. Anyways, the airline would most likely be giving toddler toy kit also. So, we didn't bring too much toys. I think we only brought one Elmo doll, that's it.

Breastfeeding really make things become more convenient

The following are things we should've done or should've bring

• Toilet training (we truly are a failure in this aspect, even up to now. HELP!). This causes us to have to bring disposable diapers, and to buy disposable diapers in the destination. And we make the earth a dirtier place because of it :( Unhappy.
• First aid course. This can be handy not just for vacation. Should take this sooner or later
• Dog tag pendant necklace or anklet for Noe. Just in case if he goes missing (knock on wood), this would help. Even better, if we could put signal-emitting implants on Noe's body that can be tracked using GPS. Just in case, you know. Thank God we've managed our trip without having to put these things.

The following are godsend items that had really helped:

• Lightweight sturdy umbrella stroller. Lightweight is very important.
• Baby Bjorn baby-toddler carrier (for toddler under 12 kg) or a sling. Carrying my toddler using this had freed our hands to do other things.
• Ziplock bags, the sturdy type (freezer type). As mentioned above.
• Waterless hand cleaner solution like Purell
• Baby wet wipes. I know, this is not eco-friendly. But convenient nevertheless. Probably during the next trip we would change this with small lightweight microfiber towels.
• Pacsafe Waist Bag. Safe secure and provide additional space in the packing system.
• Pacsafe bag protector and steel wire security lock. Although people think that this is not useful, the pacsafe protector has provided us with the peace of mind. For example, we protected our bags by putting pacsafe on it and tying it onto solid column, while we spend time chasing Noe around the waiting room in Manila airport..

This is typical carry-on-bag situation on the airplane. The big backpacks are checked in. BTW Noe never had his own seat because he's under 2 year and we want the air tickets to be cheap. Another reason to travel light.

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What To Bring for the Toddler: Our List

What did we bring for our toddler for one month? We try to travel as light as possible. Sometimes we were tempted to bring more stuff than we need, but we kept reminding ourselves that we need to travel light. And if we actually need more stuff, we could try to buy the thing once we arrive in our destination. However, this is rarely the case. So far, what we have brought for the trip has been enough (note that we need to allocate time to wash clothes every other night).

The list is actually quite simple

Noe's Clothes

• 6 trousers
• 2 pajama pants
• 3 socks
• 2 shoes / sandal
• 6 shirts / tshirts
• 1 jacket
• 1 long sleeve shirt
• 1 hat

Noe's Toiletries

• 1 Kiddy toothbrush
• 1 Kiddy toothpaste
• 1 Kiddy bath liquid, also for his hair, the no-tear type
• 1 Waterless hand cleaner
• 1 Baby powder
• Baby wipes, buy one pack containing 80 pieces every 10 days (should think of a more eco friendly strategy)
• Disposable diapers, medium size, buy every 10 days (should've toilet trained him and use cloth diaper instead)

First aid kit for Noe

• Paracetamol
• Oralit
• Ibuprofen
• Malaria pills
• Children's amoxillin (antibiotics)
• Cough medicine
• Insect repellent
• Zambuk for itch and insect bites
• Vicks vaporub
• 3 Syringe to give medicine when needed

Others

• Sippy bottle for Noe's water
• Spoon, fork, knife, just in case
• 10 piece gallon ziplock
• 30 piece quart ziplock
• Ikea clip to secure food bags or plastic bags
• Flash light
• Book with static stickers, sticker book
• Small toys for Noe (as little as necessary): Elmo doll, a few metal toycar
• Our PDA phones with Sesame Street videos for Noe and also our laptop with some videos in the harddisk (rarely need to use these though, but just in case)
• Pacsafe waist bag and pacsafe bag protector

You can imagine that the above consists mostly of small items and all can fit into tiny backpack. We could do better by eliminating the disposables (diapers and baby wipes). Maybe next time.


YOU can do it too!

For full article, click here

Indi and I shared one common thing: We love to travel, to see and experience the world (*if money is not an issue). And with travel, we also share one common trait: we plan for it in detail.

Why do we plan? Easy answer: because that's our style. Some people likes to travel unplanned, arriving at the airport not knowing where to stay or where to go. But not us.

A more difficult answer would be: Because we want to minimize uncertainties and maximise our enjoyment. As much as possible we do not want to be bothered too much with logistical issue. Moreover, we lug our toddlers along with us, hence the need for proper planning. Here, we'd like to share with you our style of travel planning.

We did this for most of our trips, particularly the ones outside South-East Asia.

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A. Planning For The Trip

The first step that we do is of course, to decide on the destination. For the Cuba trip, for example, we were in a bookshop in Kuala Lumpur with our friend Fay, and there we came across with a guidebook for Cuba. Indi flicked the book and saw the beautiful photos of the Carribean blue seas, and we instantly knew what we were thinking. I instantly respond to Indi, "Let's do it before Fidel dies!". This was, six months before the actual trip began.

The second step is to roughly determine the dates and the duration of the trip of the destination. This happened immediately when we arrive home from that Kuala Lumpur decision. The dates were determined roughly based on the annual leave that we have. We built a basic spreadsheet with the number of days, and determined the dates which we need to travel by air (because this means the day is dedicated for major packing and unpacking). It looks like this, roughly.



Then we began our research... to the library! And to Google! We are very grateful of Singapore's great National Library system and Singapore's speedy internet access. We got ourselves the newest version of the guidebook and dissect it.

1. First thing to research: Airfares and its schedule. This involves calling and emailing travel agents all over the world for quotation, and sometimes, when no penalty is involved, by doing reservation. Tim Ferriss actually recommends using last minute deals to save cost, but since we travel in a big group, we're not so sure about this. Anyway, for our Mex-Cuba trip, we managed to get a pretty good deal by involving three different agents: The singapore agent to issue Singapore-LA tickets, Alaskan Airlines website for LA-Mexico ticket, and Mexican Airlines office for Mexico City-Cancun-Havana-Mexico City route. We're glad that the schedules of the different flights fitted nicely, with about 8 hours gap between flights, allowing time for delays and rest.
2. Second thing to research: Visa: Its validity, cost, and application time. This involves calling the embassies. For US and Mexican Visas, there wasn't a real problem. It's a bit tricky because Cuban embassy is not available in Singapore. The closest one is actually in KL, but they don't serve Singapore residents. We had to do it in Jakarta, and with some persuasion, we managed to get them issued in one day.
3. Third thing to research: Travel insurance. We chose AXA as it is the most economical.

To compile the research data, we use spreadsheet again, that roughly looks like this. We marked the best deals in distinct red color. Our rough schedule became more solid now that we have clearer data on arrival and departure by air.

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B. Planning For The Details Of The Trip

For the details of the trip, we began to use the guidebook to research the accommodation options. We wanted a cheap, clean, and safe accommodation. If there is an option to stay with the locals and experience local culture, that would be even better. We also explored the option of hospitality club.

The second thing of this stage is to identify what we want to visit in our destinations. We also used the guidebooks, and we try our best to check the vehicle and distance required to travel between the objects that we want to visit. If necessary, we even use google earth and roughly measure the distance.

The approximate travel time is plotted down into a detailed itinerary spreadsheet, which uses hourly grid. This doesn't mean that we plan our activities to the hour detail level. This hourly spreadsheet only helps us to put down the land-travel time, so we roughly know how much free time we have, and when we should be prepare to leave for our next destination by land. Later, we print this hourly spreadsheet, and on the road, we fill out the gap with the activities that we plan to do on the day.



Once we have this spreadsheet, we were also able to jot down daily budget and then approximate the final budget for the trip.

After this second level of planning, we began our bookings for the air tickets, hotel, and land transport.

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C. Planning For The Execution of The Trip

Finally, we again reviewed and adjusted the spreadsheets that we have done based on the finalised bookings that we had. We had clearer pictures of the day-to-day travel time vs free time.

Then, we began to build logistics spreadsheet. This involves the list of things we bring and where (which bag) we keep them. Why is this list necessary? Firstly, so that we could travel as lightly as possible and as comfortable and safe as possible. Secondly, so that we know where to put things again, when we need to pack to move to the next destination, and also, so that we know where to locate our stuff without having to unpack the whole bag. During the trip, we need the discipline to store things at the correct bag.

This is how we build the logistics spreadsheet:

1. The available storage:
   • Two large backpacks
   • Two daypacks
   • Two waist bags
   • Two hidden money belts
   • and Things to be worn
2. The classification of things we bring:
   • Lower outer garments
   • Upper outer garments
   • Undergarments
   • Accessories
   • Sanitary/bathing items
   • First aid kit (VERY IMPORTANT)
   • Electronic items
   • Documents
   • Other items
   • We also have list of possible souvenirs to bring home.

Then we build a contact list that includes personal contacts in our destination, as well as emergency contacts (police, ambulance, and embassy).

Lastly, we build a spreadsheet for the money that we bring: how much in travellers checks, how much in credit card pre-payment, how much in cash (EUR or USD), and how much we expect to withdraw from ATM. Well, we don't always do this list. But because we travel to Cuba, where money situation is a bit tricky, we need it.

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D. Necessary Actions For The Execution of The Trip

Aside to the planning above, this is the list of necessary actions for the trip in chronological order:

• Apply for ISIC card or discount cards
• Buy air tickets
• Buy travel insurance
• Learn the local language using Pimsleur methods
• Book accommodation
• Book car rental
• Book bus tickets
• Consult our doctor and pediatrician for necessary vaccinations and preparation of first aid kits (she gave us prescription medication for standby and briefed us on how to use it. She also gave us letter outlining our medical conditions)
• Buy items in the logistics list, including the backpacks
• Pre-pay our credit card
• Pre-pay our bills (utilities, cellphone, home phone)
• Put the coordinates of the destinations into our GPS
• Back up and sync our computers (leave the desktop at home, of course)
• Put necessary documents as protected pdf into a thumbdrive, including money-related documents such as credit card info
• Print the abovementioned planning spreadsheets
• Print copies of travel documents, one each to be put into the bags
• Print one copy of personal documents necessary for travel, such as medical conditions, insurance documents, etc.
• Pack up according to the logistics spreadsheet
• Ready to go!

There you go. Many people said our trip planning and preparation looks like battle plan. Is it true?

During the trip itself, we largely follow the plan. However we were quite flexible with itinerary. For example, we needed to cancel our plan to the smaller towns in Cuba because Noe was sick with viral infection. But that's OK, we're glad that our planning and preparation has resulted in a pleasant and memorable trip overall!

For full entry, click here

I think the sayings "What gets measured, gets managed" is quite true....

Tracking our expenses and transactions

We have been quite rigorous in tracking our expenses and transactions since the first years of our marriage. We log our expenses up to the cents.

When we got marriage, we were quite carefree about spending our money, particularly for dining out and entertaining people. Then we realised that we couldn't account of the spending: it seems that our money just vapored out into thin air, and the savings didn't grow as much as we wanted it to be. "It couldn't be!" I thought, "Where does the money go?" Realising that something needed to be done about it, at the beginning, it was just me who took note of the expenses. But then I persuaded Indi about the benefit of doing so and he was willing to give it a try. After doing it for a few months, Indi too realised the great benefit of tracking. Now it has become a habit for both of us.

We didn't just stop at tracking our expenses. Once a week, I took the duty of consolidating all the expenses into spreadsheet, classifying the expenses into different categories. Once a month, both of us review our income and expenses. It rings true enough, "what gets measured, gets managed". The following are the benefits of tracking expenses:

• We know where our money goes. Never again it disappears into thin air. This information is very useful. For example, it is often a surprise to know how much we have spent for small things over one year or more. Let's say, small purchase of disposable diapers since 2005 until now has depleted our cash by more than 1,000 SGD, and even that, we were using one of the cheapest brand available. Plus the baby wipes, diaper rash cream, etc it may have been close to 1,500 SGD! This is called "The Latte Factor" which is small purchases that count to be a huge expense over time. Thanks to the detailed expenses log that we have, we knew about this and are able to take action (No more Starbucks!). Oh, and about the diaper, we're currently planning to move to cloth diapering and elimination communication to save cost, but that would be a totally different blog post.
• The tracking helps us to approximate the expenses for the next month, projecting savings, or to set out budget.
• The tracking tells us how we could take actions to cut cost, hence save more money. For example, taking a taxi could stretch our expenses to a couple of hundred dollars. Since it is reflected in the spreadsheet, we knew that we need to take bus and walk more.
• It becomes an interesting record of our spending pattern too!

And it didn't stop at having a massive record of expenses. Those spreadsheets are useless unless we take action on it. At first, we only took note of the expenses. The next step we knew which corner to cut. Furthermore, we began to set out monthly budget for the expenses. Finally now, we set savings target that we need to fulfil every month and cut the money for saving, first thing in the morning when the paycheck come (Think about the boat, the boat, the boat!).

It worked for us so we'd like to recommend that everyone do it. And it's not difficult at all, you'd only need a tiny notepad and pen in your pocket / handbag all the time and jot down the expenses as soon as it happens to you. Or, like indi, use the pda that could sync the data with the computer easily. Or, like me, I use twitter and sometimes notepad (my pda sucks). It takes us only 5 seconds at the most, after each purchase.

Tracking my time

Having been used to tracking the expenses, these past couple of months I have been doing the experiment of tracking the time I spent doing things, to the details of five minutes. I realized that I needed to do this, in order to accurately allocate time for doing personal projects or do freelance work. Indi thinks I'm crazy of doing this, but I have my reason. Indi is an employee, so he is able to segregate time for his work and time for other things. As I am a full-time mother and part-time anything else, my time allocation is jumbled and mixed.Before I have kids, I used to be able to focus on doing things for more than three hours straight, even without eating and drinking. Since I'm primarily an at-home-mother (and note, I hate that dicothomy of SAHM vs WM), I am often interrupted by the little ones. Now, I could rarely focus on doing things for more than two hours, which used to be the optimum way for me to be productive. Surely, I needed to change the way I work. But how? Again, "What gets measured, gets managed". The first step is to know how much time I spend doing things, of course.

Everyday, I track the time I take for doing things, primarily using pda-twitter and also using small notepad. Each tracking took me 5-10 seconds, and each day, on average, there are 16-18 different activities. So it doesn't take much of my time to track it. Once a week, I would consolidate the time spent into a spreadsheet and classifying it according to several categories (30 minutes per week). Once a month, I review them and this should allow me to decide what actions to be taken (30 minutes).

I found these interesting facts from two month of logs, one prior to Kei's birth, and one after:

• Before Kei's birth, I spent about 9 hours perday of family time and household. After Kei's birth, I spent about 15 hours perday for this (including more time dedicated for breastfeeding, and taking care two kids). This is given, can't be reduced, as my kids and family are my priority. However, I should consider ways to make household work more efficient and timesaving.
• Before Kei's birth, I spent 3 hours perday to do useless things on the web like facebooking, friendster, flickr, and blogwalking. After Kei's birth, it became 2 hours. This should be reduced even more: 1 hour per day at the maximum. Make it 30 minutes.
• On the other hand, on average, I spent only 1 hour perday replying important emails, 1 hour perday doing volunteer work, 1 hour spending time with friends, and 15 minutes perday writing blog or get involved in wikipedia. These should be increased.
• On average, I sleep 7.5 hours perday. This should be reduced. I use to be able to sleep 6 hours perday only.
• On average, I spent 1 hour perday traveling or in transport mode. This should be reduced by planning travel more efficiently.
• Before Kei's birth, I have 6.5 hours to do work (personal projects or freelance thingy). After Kei's birth, it became only 3 hours. This should be increased. I am targetting 4-5 hours perday should be available to do work.

Having logged my time in details enables me to decide what activities should I do less (aimlessly web-browsing), what activities should be made more efficient (household work), and what activities should be increased (spending time with kids, work, volunteer). How? Maybe I would try to elaborate more on this in the next blog post (depending on my time).

For full entry, click here

You readers may have known that we, Indi+Rani, don't have TV at home (many of you asked, "WOW, how do you manage to live without TV?" Then read this, this,  this, and this.)

Well, that doesn't mean we don't have TV set, actually, there is one TV set in the living room (and that's not ours! That's Yodhi's TV Set which he bought for the world cup). But the TV set is only plugged into DVD player and not connected to an external antennae or cable network. So, beside video, there's no possibility for channel flicking in the TV set in our home.

The thing is, although we are disconnected from the TV network, we do not totally prevent Noe from watching videos in the TV set. Why do we prefer video to TV network? Because we want to have the power to choose programs and we don't want to be exposed to TV advertisements. So far, it worked well. We got ourselves various DVDs of kids shows ranging from Sesame Street series (love it), the Wiggles (initially hated it, but now loving it), Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, Winnie the Pooh, and Barney (blech, yuck, hiss, but Noe loves it). We also got into the habit of accompanying Noe while he's watching his favorite DVD, to explain to him what's going on on the screen.

Besides DVD, Noe also loves watching video on youtube. He particularly loves Nascar race videos, music videos such as Daft Hands, anything with cars and balls.

We didn't realize that watching on-demand video led us to a small but interesting problem.

Yesterday, Noe went to Xmas party at our cousin's place. My dear cousin is a TV junkie, and he subscribes to cable network. Noe was instantly glued to the TV that was screening a car racing program. After 20 minutes, the program finished and continued to a different program, which was not car racing. Noe was confused and asked us agan, "Car again, car again!" We tried to make him understand that the car racing program has finished. But it didn't work, Noe began to cry and throw tantrum. We panicked, and started to flick channels to find other programs. Luckily there was one program that screened motor racing event. At first, Noe paid attention to this program, but after 15 minutes he began to ask us again, "Car again, car again". Again we tried to explain to him, that this TV was not playing video, and was unable to repeat or replay programs. Noe became really sad, he cried and threw tantrum again for quite a long time in front of the party guests. It all ended up with Noe vomited his breakfast, and we had to shower him in my cousin's bathroom. What a headache for me! Luckily, after shower he stopped asking for the car racing program and began to play with other kids.

In conclusion, Noe was very much used to having video at home that he could always ask us to replay programs. That is what he does with DVD and youtube. Hence, when he first encountered TV program, he couldn't understand why he can't choose the program he wants, and that TV program can't be repeated.

I hope now he understands the difference.

Actually I never consider new year day as a special day to mark a new future, except for the fact that 31 dec is the date that I backup my computer and consolidate my finances. Other than that, new year day is just another day for me. Hence I rarely made new year resolution. But I just realized that I was tagged by Leyla to write down my resolutions for next year, so here goes.

1. Be frugal, save as much as possible, and invest. Target: Saving and investing at least 20% of household income. The more, the better. Keep thinking: buying a boat, buying a boat, buying a boat... in 10 years, in 10 years, in 10 years... First step: Make a budget for next month and stick to it. Cut off savings portion in advance, first thing to be done during payday.

2. Earn my own money. Either do more freelance job, part time work, or set up a small business. As for 2008, unlikely to get a full time work have a very young baby to attend to. First step: decide what I want to do and make rough action plan.

3. Get published off-line. Yep, not blog. It can be academic or other kinds of writing. First step: write!

4. Learn a new language and actually stick to it. Spanish comes to mind: 500 million people speak it and South America has great potential to develop. BTW I also have to get my french certification, which I have procrastinated for the longest time and my brain starts to get rusty. First step: Listen to Pimsleur method CDs, 30 minutes a day.

5. Think of smart way to distribute our own charity fund. Build school? Micro-lending? Set up trust fund for scholarship? First step: Find the people in need who is eager to work hard to escape poverty. Also, draft down the action plan.

6. Start planning and saving trip for summer 2009. Have to have one family trip before Kei turns 2 year old, since airplane ticket is the cheapest for a baby below 2 year old. First step: decide on the destination. Where?

7. Start to write in languages other than indonesian and english, despite not being very good at them. Practice, practice, practice. First step: write, and stop being afraid of making mistakes!

8. Learn public speaking. This is my worst fear, I have to take a concrete step to overcome it. First step: Join toastmaster's club or be a vocalist in a band.

Maybe that's it. Sounds boring, ey? Indeed, because I'm such a boring person. And for me those goals seems too overwhelming. Help!

I pass on the tag to the following eight women in multiply.com, in alphabetical order: April, Hany, Hera, Ienas, Leony, Merlyna, Mela, and Yuli Capung.

For the full article, click here

This is just my quick thought on a Pro-Family World, after a discussion with Ari-Thalia and responding to a discussion in ASIforBaby Yahoogroups. As I was quickly jotting down my thoughts on the issue, it was rambling, disorganized, and not well-researched. And perhaps it's also politically incorrect or may be offending to some people, hence I apologize before hand if it is indeed the case. I decide to publish it here so that I won't forget, and hopefully I would be able to write more about this issue.

Begin quoting from ASIforBaby Yahoogroups.

Kalo saya ngeliat masalah FTM (Full Time Mother) vs WM (Working Mother) itu masalah yg lebih gede lagi yaitu masalah norma sosial..

Masalah pertama, pemisahan antara urusan domestik dan urusan publik. Entah kenapa, norma sosial kita cenderung mendomestikasi urusan membesarkan anak (hamil, menyusui, merawat anak). Jadi, urusan2 yang berkaitan dengan itu dibatasi untuk berlangsung di lingkungan dalam rumah aja. Sedangkan urusan pekerjaan, bisnis, mendominasi dunia luar tanpa boleh terjamah oleh urusan membesarkan anak. Thus, wanita yang memilih jalur membesarkan anak sering terjebak norma sosial tersebut.

Padahal, coba dipikir lagi, apa iya anak kecil harus di dalam rumah terus? Waktu dulu, jaman revolusi industri baru mulai, mungkin iya, karena lingkungan kerja memang berbahaya utk anak (polusi, mesin2 berbahaya etc). tapi jaman sekarang, teknologi yang udah maju, dan kebanyakan dari kita di milis ini sebagai white-collar worker environment, yang tidak berbahaya untuk anak. Tetapi mengapa masih ada "stigma" bahwa membesarkan anak adalah urusan tertutup dalam rumah?

Masalah kedua adalah, bahwa kegiatan membesarkan anak tidak membawa keuntungan ekonomi. Wanita yang memilih dari FTM dianggap sebagai "cost" terhadap ekonomi karena dilihat sebagai angkatan kerja yang tidak bekerja (unemployed). Padahal, kalo dipikir, membesarkan anak dengan ASI dan dengan purna waktu bisa jadi membawa keuntungan ekonomi jangka panjang. Sayangnya belum ada riset ilmiah / riset ekonomi mengenai ini.

Jadi, dengan dua masalah ini, wanita dihadapkan dengan pilihan yang lose-lose dalam situasi ini. Jika memilih jadi FTM, ada stigma bahwa FTM tidak bergaul di luar. Jika memilih jadi WM, waktu untuk anak seringkali kurang banyak, apalagi bepergian ke tempat kerja di Jakarta sangat menyita waktu. Tidak ada best-case scenario, bagi si ibu. Semua pilihan membawa efek negatifnya sendiri. Karena itu bisa jadi banyak wanita memilih untuk tidak punya anak.

Lebih jauh lagi untuk kedua orang tua. Jika ibu memilih jadi FTM, bapak harus bekerja duakali lebih keras. Walhasil si bapak memiliki waktu lebih sedikit untuk anak. Interaksi anak dengan ibu dan bapak jadi tidak seimbang. Bahkan ada beberapa bapak yang menganggap pengasuhan anak sebagai penghalang kesibukan. Tapi mau gimana lagi, inilah yang umum terjadi di jaman ini, dan banyak orang harus mengambil pilihan seperti ini.

Karena itu kami (Indrani) di sini berusaha mendobrak stereotipe pengasuhan anak. Caranya sebisa mungkin mengajak anak dengan kegiatan2 yang kita lakukan di luar. Contohnya, saya sebagai FTM mengajak bayi saya (3bln) ke seminar ilmiah, dan orang2 melihat dengan heran karena ternyata anak bisa dibawa ke kegiatan seperti ini. Contoh lain teman saya yang berprofesi sebagai web developer/designer dan ada juga yang sebagai arsitek, sehingga bekerja dari rumah. Mereka mengasuh anak dan mengurus rumah tanpa pembantu atau BS. Mereka membawa anak untuk pertemuan dengan klien, membawa anak ke pameran seni dan pertemuan dengan rekan2 designer. Bahkan mereka membawa anak ke Bar utk dugem di malam hari (karena bar di singapur bebas rokok), sehingga mereka tetap bisa bersosialisasi. Teman saya ini membagi tugas pengasuhan anak antara ibu dan bapak dengan sangat seimbang dan merata. Nah, kata siapa, anak kecil cuma boleh di rumah?

Mari kita coba bayangkan dunia yang berbeda samaa sekali. Boleh dong, berkhayal?

Di dunia yang ini, teknologi komunikasi dan transportasi udah canggih banget sehingga ga ada bedanya berada di rumah atau di kantor. Pilihan untuk jadi FTM atau WM sama2 positif.

Ibu yang memilih untuk menjadi FTM tidak terisolasi, dan dengan network yang canggih ibu2 ini bisa membuat homeschooling dengan ibu2 FTM yang lain, sehingga menekan biaya pendidikan anak. Atau bisa juga membantu mengasuh anak2 dari WM untuk dapet penghasilan tambahan. FTM juga dengan sangat mudah bertukar informasi mengenai pengasuhan anak melalui media blog dan forum website (hehe kalo ini udah terjadi dengan milis ini). Para FTM juga bisa mendapatkan akreditasi dan ijazah mengenai menyusui, pengasuhan dan pendidikan anak dengan assessment kualifikasi mereka oleh organisasi FTM. Selepas anak2 besar, para FTM bisa menyumbangkan ilmu mereka pada organisasi ini untuk ibu2 yang baru melahirkan.

Dunia yang ini, sangat ramah dengan anak kecil dan menyusui. Menyusui dan mengurus anak di tempat umum menjadi hal yang biasa. Baik di taman, di busway, di carrefour, kapan saja dan dimana saja bisa menyusui atau mengganti popok anak. Anak dapat bermain dan berlarian di tempat publik dengan bahaya yang sangat minimum.

Dunia yang ini juga sangat ramah dengan WM. Di dunia ini, tidak ada cuti melahirkan! lho kok malah gak ada? Karena ibu2 ini sejak bayinya berumur sebulan membawa anaknya turut bekerja. Ketika anaknya masih bayi dan banyak tidur, bayi ditaruh di tempat tidur bayi di cubicle dan meja ibu, sehingga kapanpun WM bisa menyusui. Sampai mbak2 teller di bank pun membawa anaknya, sehingga mereka menerima nasabah sambil menggendong bayinya. Guru-guru dan dosen menggendong bayinya sambil mengajar. Konsultan membawa bayinya ke rapat klien, dan klien pun membawa bayinya ke rapat.

Ketika anak sudah bisa jalan, WM bisa menitipkan anaknya di penitipan anak di gedung kantor yang sama, yang dikelola oleh para FTM pro-ASI. Karena jumlah WM dan FTM seimbang, di semua kantor ada TPA. WM mendapatkan bantuan pengasuhan anak oleh pengasuh profesional (FTM), dan FTM mendapat penghasilan tambahan. Setiap empat anak diasuh oleh 1 FTM. Di waktu makan siang, WM menyusui anak di TPA. Saat WM mengantor, FTM memberikan ASI perah. Setiap pulang kantor WM mendapat laporan kegiatan dari FTM.

Ketika anak sudah berusia lebih dari 2 tahun, belum sekolah, dan menyusui hanya sedikit, giliran bapak yang mengurus anak sambil ngantor. Ada banyak pilihan pengasuhan anak balita. Bisa dititipkan di TPA di gedung kantor, dan bapak akan selalu mengajak anaknya makan siang atau minum teh di waktu2 istirahat. Atau bisa juga anak ikut mengantor dengan bapaknya, dan ini bukan hal yang aneh. Karena bapak mengenal anaknya dengan baik, bapak lebih bisa menghandle anaknya dan si anak juga akan berusaha mengerti kebutuhan bapaknya. Walhasil, si anak bisa diajak ke meeting-meeting dan ketemu anak2 kliennya. Hasilnya si anak akan mengerti apa yg dikerjakan orangtuanya selama di kantor, dan si anak merasa tidak terisolasi dengan dunia luar. Kalau anak bosan di kantor bisa turun ke TPA di gedung kantor.

Lebih ekstrim lagi, tempat2 dugem pun menjadi ramah anak2. Bebas rokok, dan tersedia playground / tempat tidur untuk anak. Orangtua yang suka dugem tetap bisa bersosialisasi tanpa harus meninggalkan anak.

Hayo, ibu2 apakah ada khayalan mengenai dunia yang ramah anak? silakan ditambahkan. mudah2an khayalan ini bisa terlaksana.

For full article, click here

This writing is to compare two breastfeeding experiences: Noe's first two weeks and Kei's.

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Preparation

Noe: I decided to fully breastfeed my baby because of what international health organization and experts recommends for baby's first six months. But I thought that breastfeeding should be natural and should not be learned. So I made no effort in looking for any information about breastfeeding at all. Despite that, I was really confident that I wouldn't face any difficulty breastfeeding. Later, it turned out that I was too cocky.

Kei: Having volunteered with Breastfeeding Mother Support group and received counseling training from them, plus, having purchased the Breastfeeding Answer Book, and having engaged a lactation consultant to counsel me during the first few days after birth, I am (hopefully) better equipped to breastfeed my baby. I roughly know the basics of breastfeeding and I know where to look for help if anything goes wrong. I am more confident but hopefully not as cocky as during Noe's time.

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Birth and The First Few Hours

Noe: (Details are here, here, and here)  Noe was delivered vaginally with only two pushes and I had very few stitches. It was relatively easy labor but with severe complications post-partum. After clamping the umbilical cord, Noe was given to me for cuddling, but I didn't know that I could breastfeed him at the very moment. I thought I had to finish all the childbirth procedures; stitching and all; before beginning to breastfeed for the first time. Hence I handed him back to the nurse to be taken to the nursery, because Noe was crying (stupid decision by me). A few minutes later I had severe post-partum hemorrhage which was caused by lack of contraction in my uterus. The bleeding could've been reduced if I had been breastfeeding when Noe was given to me for cuddling, but I didn't know that. The bleeding was so bad and I ended up feeling cold, shivering, and very tired. After the critical condition ended, the nurse asked me whether I wanted to breastfeed, and I declined saying that I was too tired. The nurse asked again, "But you asked for total breastfeeding.." and I insisted, "Yes.. but I am really tired now, please just give him formula if he's hungry. I will try to breastfeed him when I feel stronger". I regret this decision even until now, and this decision caused Noe to have nipple confusion which later caused a series of breastfeeding problems. I was then brought into Intensive Care Unit, and stayed there for 18 hours, before seeing Noe again for the first breastfeeding.

Kei: I decided to prepare for ideal condition to begin breastfeeding. First, I intend to have drug-free birth, because anasthesia is known to cause drowsiness in newborn and inability to breastfeed right after birth. Secondly, I engaged a lactation consultant during labor to assist breastfeeding during the first hour. I was glad that my birth plan was mostly followed. Kei was put on my breast for skin-to-skin contact within 10 minutes after birth, but he was not really interested in breastfeeding at the moment. So we quickly weigh him and measure him, and put him back into breast at the second 10 minutes after birth, and this time Kei is more interested in breastfeeding. The first time he nipple-feed me, which is wrong, so we had to break the suction and attempt for a more correct latch-on. Kei managed to latch-on beautifully during his second attempt, and despite his "weak" suck (compared to Noe's suck, which is a toddler) I could feel the effect instantly. I felt a bit of pain in my uterus which means that it is contracting, hence reducing the bleeding. I think Kei breastfed nicely for about half an hour before dosing off to sleep. When Kei was bathed for the first time, he expelled meconium instantly since he had drunk the colostrum. The expulsion of meconium is very important as it will help to reduce the risk of jaundice.


Noe

Kei

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The Second Day

Noe: Noe breastfed for the first time 18 hours after childbirth. Since he had been given formula while I was in ICU, he latched-on incorrectly to my breast just like he was sucking bottle. Noe was basically nipple-feed, and I did nothing to correct it because I didn't know it was wrong. Ami Prasetyo, a friend who was visiting, pointed out my mistake, but I ignored it because I haven't yet felt any pain. Meanwhile, no lactation consultant or nurse helped me with my latch-on, hence the mistake was not corrected. By early evening, I began to have sore nipple, but the massive dose of painkiller given to me masked out the pain. At night, Noe did cluster feeding. This means Noe feeds non-stop from 2am to 4am. I didn't know that such condition is normal during the first few days. But I was too tired due to my bleeding and low hemoglobin rate, and I didn't understand why Noe wasn't satiated at all. At the end, I was overly tired and I asked the nurse to take Noe away to nursery and feed him with a bottle of formula.

Kei: Three hours after birth, Kei was brought in to breastfeed, but he wasn't interested. I attempted to feed him for one hour but he stayed asleep. I thought that this might be a normal situation, whereas in the beginning the baby was a bit sleepy, and this might be nature's way to help the mother rest after childbirth. I sent Kei back to nursery so I could sleep: making the most out of baby's sleepy time. Kei breastfed for the second time approximately six hours after birth, and during the first day he fed every five to six hours. I tried to sleep as much as possible, because I expected that Kei would do cluster feeding sooner or later. During Kei's third feeding, at around 10am, Doris (lactation consultant) came for a visit and helped me with a "refresher course" on breastfeeding. I learned that I had to catch Kei's big mouth opening (say AAH!) in order to produce a good latch-on. This is a bit challenging because Kei's behaviour was random (like most babies) and I was the one who has to be observant of his behaviour. Basically both mother and child are learning about each other's ability and limitation. Kei's was a quick learner, he learned that he would be rewarded with milk if he opened his mouth really big. As a result, Kei has always done good latch-on and I didn't have any soreness. Later on, at night, true to my prediction, Kei began to cluster feed. This time, I was physically fit and prepared, so I said to Kei, "Let's have a battle, who is stronger and who will survive the night with cluster feeding". I fed Kei non stop from 1am to 4am, going from left to right breast and repeat the cycle, nonstop. At the end, at 4am, Kei fell asleep by himself, being too tired of cluster feeding. I was glad I won the battle. I then sent him back to nursery and I slept comfortably for four hours straight. After that cluster feeding session, Kei feeding hours began to become more regular and predictable.


Noe

Kei

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The Third Day

Noe: During the second day I received blood transfusion in order to boost my hemoglobin rate. Noe roomed in with me during the day, and sent to me from the nursery every 3-4 hours during the night. My sore nipple was getting worse with the nipple skin peeling off. The painkiller started to lose out to the pain of sore nipple. I asked the nurse for a help to cure the sore nipple, and she was aghast to see such a bad nipple condition. She gave me medela ointment to apply to the nipple before and after nursing. The problem is, the nurse was not fixing the latch-on problem, which was the source of the problem, and I didn't know it. In the mean time, no lactation consultant paid me a visit (and I didn't know that there is such thing as a lactation consultant). Meanwhile, most people told me that sore nipple is normal for the first week and it will subside by itself. So I took it for granted that sore nipple is the normal pathway towards breastfeeding. Little did I know that sore nipple is not a normal condition and that it could all be resolved by a quick visit to IBCLC (certified lactation consultant).

Kei: Since I had a vaginal delivery without complication I was able to come home the second day. So far Kei has been breastfeeding well, as indicated by his pee and poo cycle. I saw that Kei has been having more than four poos, which was very good for a two-day old baby. Kei also didn't show any sign of jaundice, so doctor let him out of hospital without prick test. We were discharged in the afternoon. Kei's weight upon discharge was 2630 grams. Losing weight during the first days was normal because the baby shed meconium and excess water in the body. Back home, Kei feed every 1-1.5 hours. At night, he was again having cluster feeding, this time it was for six hours straight. I fed him in cradle hold position and fell asleep sitting down cradling Kei. Lucky that I managed to maintain the cradle position while I was asleep, and Kei was latched on all the way. That was the last cluster feeding session for the first two weeks.

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The Fourth Day

Noe: Since my blood transfusion result was good, I was discharged at the third day. It turned out that going home was a struggle for me. I was considerably weak due to the blood loss, this means I was easily tired. Compounded with difficulty breastfeeding with sore nipple and baby blues, I became sad easily. Noe was feeding quite frequently and it tired me, and he was given formula. When my husband gave Noe the first formula bottle at home, it dawned to me that I did not want to bottle-feed him, because it seemed to be really cumbersome: preparing the formula, ensuring the right temperature, feeding the milk, and washing/sterilizing the bottle afterwards. Knowing me, I would be too sloppy and too careless to bottle feed Noe. Besides, my weak condition didn't spare me enough energy to do the extra chore of making formula milk and cleaning it afterwards. From that moment I decided to go back to total breastfeeding, despite the pain of sore nipple.

Kei: So far the breastfeeding experience has been really painless (but still a bit tiring with its high frequency). And my mature milk has begun to come in: I experienced breast fullness and I could see white milk when they're squeezed. Meanwhile, Kei's poo has turned yellow and grainy like curry. His breastfeeding frequency has also begun to space out to 2-2.5 hours.

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The Fifth Day

Noe: Away from the hospital and away from the painkiller, I just realized that sore nipple pain was worse than labor pain. I literally broke down to tears every time I breastfed because it was really really painful. My mother was really puzzled to see me crying and screaming out of pain of the sore nipple. People reassured me that the pain will subside after one week, so I decided to stay put despite the pain. Of course, with crying and screaming. The nipple skin peeled off leaving a really painful gaping wound. I decided to do away without bra, because the friction of the nipple with the bra aggravated the pain. Meanwhile, my mature milk began to come in and I began to leak all over the house. I also began to have slight engorgement. All the changes in my body had never happened before, and I was really stressed out because of it. Meanwhile, my husband went off to buy breastpump and nipple shield because he couldn't stand to see me in great pain.

Kei: I began to have breast engorgement but no leak yet. There's also lump in armpit. I gave cabbage compress for 2 hours and it was soothing. Noe helped empty the breast but didn't help alleviating the engorgement. I also had a low grade fever, and I took panadol to cure it. This time I know that all those changes in my body were normal and it was my body's attempt to calibrate the right milk supply. I was more prepared, especially with the breastfeeding book, and had known the first-aid measure to overcome engorgement. And by the way, I don't have sore nipple at all, and this makes breastfeeding really enjoyable.

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The Sixth Day

Noe: This time I tried to pump the milk so that I didn't have to go through the pain of breastfeeding directly. To my horror, while pumping, the sore nipple wound opened up and blood was expressed alongside milk. I was totally freaked out seeing the bloody breastmilk. Not knowing what to do with it, I threw away the bloody milk and quit pumping at the very moment. I decided, again, to bear with the sore nipple pain, instead of having to bear seeing my nipple exploding with blood.

Kei: The low-grade fever subsided, but the slight engorgement stayed on. Due to the engorgement, latching on became more challenging. Luckily the "sandwich" technique as taught by Doris helped to ease the latch-on process. Kei adapted really well to the changes in my body. Despite all those changes, I managed to catch all Kei's big mouth openings, and latching-on was easy. Kei had learned that his reward of milk comes with the big AAH that he made.

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The Beginning of the Second Week

Noe: Breastfeeding and baby caring becomes a dreaded task for me. I felt really miserable. Compounded with baby blues, I really didn't enjoy having a baby. At this stage, a baby is not yet responsive to eye contact, and this made me feel unappreciated. I felt really incompetent because my mom always criticized the way I care the baby. Moreover, breastfeeding was really painful with sore nipple. Breastfeeding was also a hassle. I had to change clothes very frequently because of bad leaking. I had to ensure that I install the breast shield to protect the sore nipple, and milk drips inside the shield,  onto the tshirt, onto the floor, creating a big milky mess all over the house. The whole house smells like stale milk. In short, I was feeling really miserable. But somehow I didn't stop to change to formula feeding. Most probably because I didn't have the energy to make formula milk, clean the bottle, sterilize it, etc. My hemorrhage made me fall tired really easily, and I just wanted to avoid extra work related with house chores, including cleaning the bottle. This is mainly why I stuck with breastfeeding. It wasn't at all any noble goal to give my baby the best nutrition. It was mainly out of my weak physical condition and my own laziness.

Kei: At the beginning of the second week the engorgement had subsided and the milk supply seemed to have stabilized. The leak was not as bad as in 2005, surprisingly. Nevertheless, both Kei and Noe seemed well satiated. BTW, I am doing tandem nursing, which means I breastfeed both Kei and Noe. But I only do tandem at night. It is a bit tiring, but it seemed to lessen the sibling rivalry between the two. Despite having to feed to kids, so far I don't have nipple soreness. Baby care and breastfeeding are now enjoyable for me, mainly because it is not a painful experience. Oh this time I also experienced baby blues during the first week, but by the end of second week it has subsided.

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The End of the Second Week

Noe: At the end of the second week I truly regret my negative feeling towards breastfeeding Noe. This is because suddenly Noe was unable to breastfeed anymore (Details are here and here). At that point, I realized that I would take whatever pain caused by breastfeeding as long as Noe wants to breastfeed. Noe's inability to feed came very suddenly, and I felt really rejected. Although I'm not a religious person, at that time, I prayed to God that I was really sorry to Her, to be so negative about my breastfeeding pain, and I prayed that Noe would return to breastfeeding. The story went like this. Suddenly, one morning, on Tuesday 29 March, Noe lost his ability to latch on. We tried for many hours to put him into the breast but he was just unable to do it. Indi was so worried that he took sick leave from the office to help me. We gave up trying to breastfeed after six hours trying when we heard grueling sound from Noe's stomach, indicating bad hunger. We finally gave him formula, and Noe fell asleep, satiated. It was really weird because he couldn't latch on my breast, but he would take the bottle. We went to a lactation consultant in our hospital for two days straight, but she was unable to give us a satisfactory answer. At the end, on Thursday 31 March, I went to Doris and she did a thorough analysis of my condition. Doris gave a clear diagnosis: an overactive milk ejection reflex, which means I have too much milk and Noe was like trying to drink out of a fire hydrant. She also gave me three steps to overcome the problem: 1. Pump before breastfeeding so that Noe didn't have to cope with the let-down; 2. Breastfeed in lying-down position to defy gravity; or; 3. Pump and feed through bottle. At home, we tried the second way. Our good friend Karyn, who was active in La Leche League, also lent us her support by trying to get Noe back to the breast again. The situation was really bad that even my mom flew back from Jakarta (she thought Noe went on strike because Noe missed her). But amazingly, at night of 31st March, Noe went back to breastfeeding! It was the best birthday present for me ever, and I thank God that She answers my prayers. After two weeks, my breastfeeding problem didn't stop. I had three times mastitis attack within the first three months. My hemorrhage had left me with a physical condition that is vulnerable to infection. But I could cope better because I knew how to look for breastfeeding information and where to find help.

Kei: Except for dripping and leaking all over the house, so far I didn't have significant problem. I hope that breastfeeding would stay to be a breeze like this until Kei is at least six months, and hopefully, two years.

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Conclusions and Lesson Learned

My first month breastfeeding experience with Noe was really bad and painful, plus, it was further aggravated with baby blues. The only thing that kept me from shifting to bottle-feed was my laziness and my weak condition after hemorrhaging. Moreover we don't have permanent live-in helper (maid), and my husband couldn't afford to be sleep deprived. Hence I simply didn't have enough energy to do the extra effort of making formula milk and cleaning the bottle. Apparently my weak condition was the silver lining of my childbirth complication, that had forced me to breastfeed. Despite the rough beginning, eventually it became really easy. I am glad to be able to continue breastfeeding until now.

My experience with Noe taught me that breastfeeding is not easy and it is something to be learned by the mother and baby. If I have read breastfeeding references and prepare myself, I might have better and more pleasant beginning. But I was too cocky.

My second child birth taught me that good breastfeeding start is important to avoid the compounded problems that will arrive later. The first two days is good time to learn to achieve effective latch-on and learning about the baby's cues (like, how to catch the big AH for a perfect latch-on), because the early days is not yet troubled with engorgement or leaking. I would highly recommend close contact with lactation consultant or counselor during the early days.

It is very important to know where to find breastfeeding help. Breastfeeding difficulty often needs to be addressed fast, that's why, most breastfeeding support groups and hospitals provide breastfeeding support hotlines. First and foremost I would like to thank Google for helping me to find information really fast. And I'm very grateful of my lactation consultant and breastfeeding guru, Doris Fok (Thank Google from which I found her contact info). Too bad, many people didn't know that there is a profession called lactation consultant that gives help for breastfeeding difficulties. Moreover, it is too bad that the modern urban culture has put breastfeeding as something to be embarrassed about, hence women nowadays couldn't easily find reference about breastfeeding in public sphere.

For original article, click here


Keilani getting himself comfortable under infant warmer system at the delivery room of National University Hospital, Singapore.The last weeks

During my last hospital visit on 16 October, the CTG shows that I have been having steady contractions of 17 minutes apart. Funny that I couldn't feel anything. Dr Li Lin said that those are inactive contraction, "practicing" for the big day.

The week after that on 23 October, I went to visit dr Chong who were surprised to see me still hasn't given birth yet. I was also confused because I didn't feel any contraction at all. I even asked him whether I should try inserting evening primrose oil pills into the birth canal (as it is a natural method of induction). Dr. Chong said such measure is not necessary as he would only suggest induction if I go beyond 41 weeks or if the USG scan shows any problems. So far USG scan result was good for natural birth. I was grateful and relieved.

At the same time I consulted the birth plan with him: that I intended to be accompanied by a birth coach, and that I want to have a drug free birth. He largely agreed with my plan that drug-free birth is possible, but he needed to inject oxytocin after birth to avoid possible bleeding. I agreed to compromise to accept the oxytocin flush, considering my hemorrhage risk. Dr. Chong also advised that I have to put my state of mind as relaxed as possible to minimise the pain (sort of a "trance" state), but he also suggested me not to be to bound by the birth plan : if I can't cope with the pain I should inform the medical staff as soon as possible because such condition (tiredness or inability to cope with pain) won't be productive for the labour. I agreed with his suggestion but kept emphasizing to him my intention to try to cope with the pain as much as possible.

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The day before

On 24 October morning and afternoon I was still busy to finish work and to go to campus to return the books. Ever since my last visit to the doctor my mom insisted to accompany me wherever I went so that if anything happen there's somebody to help. In the late afternoon it was rather difficult to get taxi in NUS and some inconsiderate academic staff decided to ignore my pregnant presence and she got a taxi from across the road, even though I waited for taxi before her. I wasn't speedy enough to run to cross the road to chase for that particular taxi. But that bitch did! Oh well...

Evening, 24 October, I breastfed Noe to put him to sleep. Unlike the other days when I breastfeed during pregnancy, this time the feeding session seems to increase the intensity of uterine contraction. Not long after that I began to notice faint contraction pain. I began to time it, and it seemed to be regular, coming at 10-11 minutes apart. I began to freak out because I haven't packed the suitcase for hospital. I jumped out of bed and pack the suitcase and prepare the documents to check into the hospital. Then I went to rush to finish my will, send it off to Indi to print tomorrow at the office, and back up the computer. Ever